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I have posted here several times, but have never shared my story. Mine did not end with my husband caring enough to get help and change his ways. When I got the phone call he did not recognize my voice or that he had dialed me, even repeated him self when I said “what? He skipped work a lot (he was an executive), so when I thought he was working or working late, or on a business trip, he was really out with others or at his strip clubs.And those things prevent him from being the parent he wants desperately to be — and enjoy his children as much as he otherwise might. Recognizing that allows me to be kinder to him, spend less toxic mental energy managing the situation. You take parenting as a responsibility — not an extracurricular activity.I’m working on that attitude as both a divorced parent and a child of divorce.
My ex is an awesome father, but there was a time when he was not as reliable as I would have hoped, related to what I wrote about a little bit here.
He just lied (and really fast) about being with a male friend at lunch and calling him…but no guy talks to another guy like he was talking.
Red alert, I called my sister and she told me how to check a cell phone. I checked his phone when he got home, and there were three messages from other woman, one a stripper.
Over the past half year I have let go of a lot of the rage I harbored for my ex over all kinds of things.
But I see now that when he is not there for the kids, it is because forces bigger and darker than him are at play. Listen to my Like a Mother episode ‘If he doesn’t see his kids, don’t fuck him’: What to tell your kid when their dad is not involved My kid’s dad isn’t involved and I don’t know what to say The real reason your ex doesn’t see the kids Close the pay gap? 50-50 visitation and no child support Should you date a guy who doesn’t see his kids?
Turns out everyone at his company knows he was a player.